Everybody Needs A Cheerleader

January 28, 2012 in best friends, girlfriends, relationships with 0 Comments

A couple years ago my husband Scott hid this card (picture above) in a place for me to find at “just the right moment” for no particular reason — well except that I am sure he hoped it would make me laugh out loud!

Everybody – yes, everybody needs a cheerleader. People — all people, of all ages need people who come along side them to encourage them, love them , and give them a pat on the back. Every one needs to hear: “I’m pulling for you;” “You got this;” “Maybe next time;” “You’re gonna be alright;” “I’m praying for you;” “I think you’re amazing;” “So glad you are a part of my life.” “I’m your number one customer.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help, but someones who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back to conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

You don’t need to wear a funny “poodle skirt” to be someone’s support on the sidelines — but sending a funny card with a great picture can also do the trick!

Make it a great day.

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Marriage — It’s Work. The Good Kind.

January 26, 2012 in husbands, love, marriage, romance with 1 Comment

If there’s anything to stay on top of your game about, I say it should be your marriage.

Marriage greets you first thing in the morning and is the last moment of the day, signing off with a good night kiss.

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott in Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts list some tips to get you thinking (and doing).  If you read any of the following and realize there are some things you need to sharpen in your relationship, explore and talk about them.  Decide to improve how you respond.  Make changes that are within your ability to control.  Take the first step.

  • Cultivate Passion.  How do couples married 20 years or more rekindle the “sometimes flickering flame of passion?”  Here are three strategies of happily married couples:
    1. Practice meaningful touch.
    2. Plan mutually enjoyable experiences.
    3. Compliment your partner daily.
  • Cultivate Intimacy.  Every husband and wife needs to be more intimate with their spouse than they are with their close friends.  When something good happens, call your husband first!  They should be the first ones to hear your news.
    1. Spend time together
    2. Listen with a third ear  (Listen not only to the story but to the feelings being conveyed)
    3. Practice unconditional acceptance. (No walking on eggshells around each other)
    4. Focus on commonalities.  (The more you focus on what you have in common, the deeper intimacy grows)
    5. Spiritual relationship.  (“Without spiritual roots, couples are left with an emptiness and superficiality that prevent genuine intimacy.”)
  • Cultivate Commitment. “There may be nothing more important in a marriage than a determination that it shall persist.”

I highly recommend the Parrott’s books on Marriage (they have several).  Go to www.RealRelationships.com to learn more about them and their books and products.

Your marriage is precious to the Lord. Invite Him to get involved.  Allow Him room.  Ecclesiastes 9:12 “Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

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Mom’s 70th Birthday, but the gift goes to me!

January 24, 2012 in family, relationships with 0 Comments

This year of 2012 holds many significant dates for our family.  Scott and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary, our daughter will get married, our son will turn 21, and our puppy turned 1.

January is also an important month for my mom – who turned 70 years old.  To hear her tell it, my mom would explain that she never expected to see this many birthdays.  She had a very serious heart attack when she was 40 years old.   Her father died when she was 13 (also from a heart attack), and she honestly never thought she would live very many years because of her dad’s history coupled with her own experience.

And yet, during the last 12 years, her heart has reconstructed veins and arteries, repairing and rebuilding itself — to the point that her doctor took her off  most of her heart medications!  First hand, she has experienced the hand of the Lord working in her physical body!

So — this was a good year to celebrate.  Mom lives within a mile of me and my family.  We planned before Christmas for my sister and brother (and my brother’s wife) to fly in to surprise her– showing up at her door unannounced the day before her birthday.  Shock and some awe unfolded.

As much as this reunion meant to my mother — we discovered that it had been 26+ years since we had all been together in the same place at the same time (my mom, sister, brother and me).  Separation of our family began with my parents divorce, followed by my brother’s navy enlistment, moving to different parts of the country, marriages, and the things that cause lives to go in different directions.

This was a gift to all of us — beyond what words can describe.  The time with my siblings was short — too short — but so so sweet.  Amazing how time and distance can disappear and suddenly you have everything in common once again … like when we were 9, 11 and 12 (We really are that close in age — 3 of us within about 3 years).  Yet another reason to celebrate my mother!  I will be forever grateful to them for taking time to come to Texas this month.  It made me realize how much I have missed them and how thankful I am that they are in my life.

Relationships — The icing on the cake of the life.  My goal in 2012 is to make more effort to invest in more of them.

Want to join me?

 

 

 

 

 

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The Joy of Books!

January 22, 2012 in creativity with 0 Comments

I am a lover of books – real books! Pages and covers and ink. You will too after you watch this. This is the work of genius … and many long hours by a team of volunteers.

Here’s some information about this video by the creators. Truly wonderful.

“After organizing our bookshelf almost a year ago (http://youtu.be/zhRT-PM7vpA), my wife and I (Sean Ohlenkamp) decided to take it to the next level. We spent many sleepless nights moving, stacking, and animating books at Type bookstore in Toronto (883 Queen Street West, (416) 366-8973).

“Everything you see here can be purchased at Type Books.

“Grayson Matthews (http://www.graysonmatthews.com/) generously composed the beautiful, custom music. You can download it here: http://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/awakenings-single/id496796623

“But none of it could have been done without all the volunteer hands who shelved and reshelved books all night, every night.”

Enjoy!

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Cakes and bouquets and flowers! Oh my!

January 18, 2012 in wedding with 0 Comments

With permission from my daughter, Nicole, I plan to tell you a few stories about our  journey in wedding preparation and count down to her Big Day.

First, let me just say . . . what a joy and what a gift this beautiful young lady is to me.  Yes, she’s my daughter and so of course, I think she’s the best girl in the entire world.  I have always thought that.  Being Nicole’s mom has been fun almost every day. (I gotta be realistic here…. parenting is not always a cake walk).  But, we certainly enjoy a close relationship.  I am so thankful.

Nicole and I will be walking into some unfamiliar territory –Today it was the world of flowers, and arrangements and wedding bouquets and oh my!  Having never done this before, we are both learning some stuff, and it is amazing what kinds of decisions have to be made to put together a wedding.  Do you know how many different kinds of flowers, mosses, greenery and florist stuff there is?  Did you know the flower at the top of this blog is called a scabiosa pod? (Nicole just commented,  “And it’s not even a disease!”)  Pretty cool, huh?  We shall see more of those in the next few months – flowers not diseases, that is.

Today I learned that the bridal bouquet that the bride throws is NOT the one she carries when she walks down the aisle.  She is going to want to KEEP that one.

I must say . . . this could all become overwhelming in a very short amount of time.  But Nicole and I have met the perfect people for every single job.  The Lord has planned this wedding long ago — He knew how it would go.  Now we are just watching Him knit together those who need to be connected with us as we watch it all unfold.  Our florist, photographer, cake baker …. each one has been just the right fit for us — personality, creativity, friendliness, kindred spirits.  We are so grateful.

Nicole’s daddy (scottjallen.com) is also a creative master mind — and his ideas for the wedding and reception are wonderful.  He has designed her “Save the Date” cards and found an amazing deal on the printing cost.  Soon he will be helping to design wedding invitations.

Day after day, we are seeing the Hand of God work in the details.

On top of all that, we are also having fun and making the most of every moment – taking pictures and having our cake (and eating it too, literally!)

As our pastor said on Sunday, “No matter how good you think God is, He is gooder still.”

 

 

 

 

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How do you know he’s the one?

January 15, 2012 in love, marriage prep, relationships, romance, Uncategorized with 0 Comments

Ever been asked, “How did you know he (or she) was the one?”

Gotta admit — that’s a very good question.  But it is one of the most difficult questions to put into words.  “You just know.”  And yet, for most of us, there was a process that required some pretty serious introspection, and prayer, and probably some counsel from trusted family and friends.  You need to ask yourself some important questions, but first you will probably have some thoughts like this:

“I couldn’t imagine life without him.”

“When I saw my future, he was in it.”

“When I’m not with him (or her), something’s just not right.”

“God brought us together.”

“I can’t imagine not being a part of her successes in life — and being there to support and celebrate with her too!”

These thoughts and comments are an important first stage — they get you thinking, dreaming, wondering about the future.  But, the next questions become much more difficult and should force you to put many emotions and feelings aside and really, really think.

What are his dreams? Or her dreams?  What has God called them to do? Can you see it?  Can you get a picture of how this looks as day-in and day-out living?

What if it means you need to move?  Away from family?  Current friends?

What if it means you move often? What if it means he doesn’t keep a steady 9 to 5 type of job?  Or regular income is  sporadic and not quite bi-weekly?  Or his work hours are unpredictable?  Can you live that way?

Do you know that you were made to come alongside? To be a helper?  To submit?  To be a support, the biggest fan?  Can you do that?

What are your dreams?  Can you fulfill them along side what he’s called to do?  Can you find yourself next to her in her ‘perfect job’?  Is there any compromise to consider?  Can you do that?  Can you do that for a long time . . . like all the way to “until death do us part”?

If you don’t know the answers to all of these questions, you must ask them.  I repeat, you both must ask them. Your future — your happy, satisfying future — depends on it.  You see, putting together a picture of the plan – the real plan — gives you a head start on a realistic view of where you are headed.

God’s plan for you is so good, and He is so good, that He liberally supplies all you need to know the plan, to get counsel and direction from Him, and to give you complete peace as you move into this wonderful new chapter of life. But the key?  You must ask some questions.  Seek direction.  Get the answers. Don’t stop til you know that you know that he or she really is the one!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Recipe Break – Homemade Hummus

January 7, 2012 in recipes with 0 Comments

When I visited Israel last March, the food was wonderful — different than my normal American fare, and absolutely delicious.  I fell most in love with fresh hummus and falafel.  I bought a great cookbook in Israel so that I could make it “real.”  The Melting Pot – A Quick and Easy Blend of Israeli Cuisine by Tami Lehman-Wilzig and Miriam Blum has our Favorite Hummus recipe.  Nicole and I have made a few different versions … and this one today may be our favorite:

Sun-Dried Tomato Basil Hummus

This is hummus from the very beginning. . .

Prepping the chickpeas:

1 cup washed chickpeas, and 1 tsp baking soda

First – Soak chickpeas overnight in 4 cups of hot water and baking soda

Drain chickpeas.  Put in a pan, cover with 5 cups salted water and cook for about one hour, until tender.

Hummus:

2 cups chickpeas (prepared above or canned)

5 TBLS lemon juice

2 crushed garlic cloves (or 2 tsp minced garlic)

4 TBLS olive oil

3 TBLS Tahini (sesame seed paste)

¼ tsp salt (or to taste)

½ tsp pepper

1/3 cup chopped sundried tomatoes

1/3 cup chopped onion

2 TBLS chopped fresh basil

Put drained chickpeas and remaining ingredients in food processor or blender.  Blend until smooth.

Taste.  Add more lemon juice or salt if required.

Enjoy! You can order your own copy of this cookbook right here:

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She said “Of Course!” (i.e., YES!!)

January 5, 2012 in children, family, love, marriage prep with 0 Comments

We knew she would.  Nicole had decided a while ago that he was the one for her. When she was sure, we were sure too.

However, it seems the days and the months are moving along so fast (faster than normal, I think) toward that “Day.”  As mom to the best daughter on the planet, I am in that squishy soft emotional place that has me looking at pictures like this one of my sweet baby girl one day and preparing wedding cake deposit checks for her reception the next.

When you have children, transition to next-life stages is constant and inevitable.  They happen often.  Some are bigger than others – some a little more memorable.  Some require a few more tears.  But the joy is the same — the joy that comes when you witness your kids successfully navigate through the seasons of growing up into adulthood.  I can’t think of anything more satisfying in my role as a parent, but some tug at your heart differently than others.

Nicole and I are having a lot of fun planning her wedding.  We have watched the Hand of the Lord connect us with the perfect vendors, the perfect dress, sweet friends, innovative ideas, great garage sale deals and lots of peace!  She and I have talked and cried and laughed and have made a commitment to embrace every part of this journey toward her Wedding Day.

So, we continue to cook new things, share and save recipes, shop for kitchen color ideas, put invitation lists together, take lots of pictures, stay up late watching movies and eating popcorn, scour Bride magazines, and all the while, on purpose, celebrating every bit of it.

 

 

 

 

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Another Love Story has begun . . .

January 3, 2012 in marriage prep, relationships, romance with 0 Comments

  Once upon a time, Jordan asked Scott if he could marry Nicole. He had a knowing that they would live happily ever after.

Here’s how it really happened:

A few months ago, our future son-in-law (that would be Jordan) asked Scott (my husband, father to Nicole) if they could have lunch together. He’s done this before, but there was something about this time that had us a little bit more curious. We were kinda ready for a very serious question.

Jordan began:  “I think you know how your daughter and I feel about each other by now. Would it be okay if I ask her to marry me?”  To which Scott answered with great dignity: (clapping his hands) “YAY!!!”  You see, they have dated the better part of 4 years (all through college). We know him. He loves God. He really loves Nicole. We love him. Nicole loves him more. All the pieces are there.

And now comes the tricky part: Keeping this a secret, acting like we know nothing for TWO WHOLE WEEKS until “The Day.” We were just the amazing future parents-in-law for the job! Jordan had a wonderful plan (I think he had been thinking about this for a long time). We were excited and thrilled to officially welcome him into our family.

The adventure had really begun.

 

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Mission India

January 2, 2012 in assignments, calling with 0 Comments

In my post below “2011 Review – A Very Good Year,” I mentioned that my son Justin spent a month in India last summer.

This video will communicate better than my words can, the impact of this trip on Team India and the people they connected with while they were there.  Take a watch:

Live THE Story – India Chapter from Mithun Abraham on Vimeo.

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